John’s Musings

It’s late in the evening. I’m tired. I want to write something, anything to draw some sort of conclusion to the past 8 years, but nothing is flowing.

And I’m pretty sure nothing ever will.

I’ll never stop questioning my life’s turn of events. I’ll never understand why it happened.

Then again, I probably don’t want to.

Life, despite its quirks and shortcomings, was at a high point. Something that I had always wanted had been given to me. It’s possible that I’m making it out to be even better than it was, but I doubt it.

Suddenly, my life was changed forever. My siblings, at least those who could understand, were affected similarly. We saw our parents in a state that no child should ever witness. Life started spiraling downward.

I try not to think about it, and usually succeed. But today I have no choice.

I’ll never understand this. But I’ll never forget.

Joseph Matthieu Regan

10-16-1998 — 2-3-1999